To be honest, “know" is a pretty layered word. People think they actually know someone, but what they may be experiencing is far from it. And this is by no means an attack or judgement on any one’s relationships, friendships, or connections with other people. Because, it’s not always your fault or the other persons’ fault, rather a combination of the two or just the simple fact that neither of you were meant to have that type of relationship with one another. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
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I mean, the invention of social media doesn’t help this either because many of us can create our own persona, our own reality, our own world through the lens of a camera. And even the people that know you in real life from real life interactions, real life phone conversations, and real life experiences may have a distorted perception of you, especially if you present yourself differently than your authentic self.
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So, if there is someone in your life that you truly care about and what to keep in your life, then you have to dig deeper than all those surface level distractions. I’m sure you know what I am talking about. The small talk. Asking about the weather or how their day was with a heavy emphasis on what they did or what happened. Those conversations have their place, but if you really want to get to know someone, they can’t be the centerpiece or highlight of every single conversation.
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Because, if they are, any type of connection or bond you had with this person will become weak, stale, and possibly unbearable to support. At that moment, you have a choice to make. You either chalk it up as something that reached its end and it’s time to move on or you figure out what was holding you, this person, or both of you back from really getting to know one another.
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That is decision you have to make. Well, actually, you don’t have or need to make that decision, but I will strongly suggest that you do for your own sake. To protect yourself from stunting your own growth, from sabotaging your evolution, and for dampening your ability to be the best version of yourself. Because, none of that can happen if you continue to keep people in your life that either don’t want to really know you or don’t make the effort to do so.
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You may think that it’s hard to figure out who those people are, but at the end of the day, they will always show themselves to you. You just have to be mindful and aware to the signs and messages that they freely give out. And that’s not to say that these are bad people or that something is wrong with them. It just means that they are committed to getting to know you. And that’s okay. It just means that they don’t want to put in the time and effort to get to know you. And that’s okay. It just means that they don’t want to prioritize you in their life.
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And you know what? That’s okay too. But, the sooner you understand this and figure out the people in your life that are their for the real you and not the surface level you, the better off you’ll be.
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You’ll feel lighter, happier, more free, more joyous, and willing to spend time with the people who do value you, who understand you, and who are willing to know who you are are deep down inside.
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